What To Do When You’re Over-Thinking

“Just do what feels right” Great advice. And then what? Have you ever found yourself debating something, maybe even for years, weighing out the options, making all these excuses and reasons to complicate things and not make a move?

Have you ever wished you could stop over-thinking, recognize ‘right’ from ‘wrong’ and just know what to do?

In this article I share a method I use how to distinguish between Ego-driven or Heart-driven desires. It is a super easy way to help you quickly move from the state of paralyses of overthinking (Ego) to a place of clarity, calm and inspired action (Heart). 

When fear-based over-thinking kicks in.

First, of all, what is fear-based over-thinking? 

It’s when we find ourselves faced with a desire, idea or decision and almost immediately have negative repetitive thoughts about the possible consequences.

*What if people judge me? (fear of rejection)

*What if I’m not up for it? (fear of failure, and then being rejected for it)

*What if I regret it? (fear of shame or attachment)

*Who am I to do this? (fear of existence)

*What if this works, what will happen to my life as I know it? (fear of greatness)

If you’ve ever had any variety of these dialogues running through your head, not just once but over and over, for whatever situation, don’t worry. It’s what we do when we’re not used to listening to or trusting our heart.

When we’re not used to recognizing desires that come from Calling, or don’t know how to answer them, we start over-thinking for a sense of direction

I hear you.

All my life, but especially in the past five years and still to this day, I am presented with situations where overthinking can shadow my clarity in decision making, not to mention my mood! Over-thinking is a major Joy-Killer and before I know it I’m spiraling down with complicated emotions such as doubt, confusion, shame, sometimes even guilt.

This can cause me to disappear into my head to try and FIGURE IT OUT. Finding myself getting irritated with anyone who interferes with my stream of thoughts. Hoping for that sense of direction or clarity. Which never truly comes. 

Why balancing out the pro’s and con’s will never work.

Balancing our pro’s and con’s will never work because when a desire or situation isn’t caused by Ego, it can not be solved in an Ego-like manner. Which is: controlling, manipulative, fearful, risk-aversive, conservative, serious.

So when I’m faced with a situation where I feel a desire coming from deep down, implicitly involving any form of change – right away my old tendencies kick in.

Like switching to English as an entrepreneur.

What will people think? My clients and customers are all Dutch at the moment. I have people following me in Dutch. What if I change my mind along the way? What if I do both? Does it even matter, English or Dutch? What about all the content I’ve already made? What about the waiting list of people who are interested in my next retreat…my next program. What if (- and this is a good one -) this desire is an Ego-thing, disguised as a calling? Is this the right time? What if? Why? When? 

This type of thinking never brings me peace and clarity.

When I notice I’m derailing in Manic-Mental-Mode, here’s my rule of thumb to drop over-thinking and recognize my inner compass:

If it’s complicated it’s from Ego

It it’s simple it’s from Spirit

Feel free to replace Spirit with Universe, God, Source, Love, Origin, the Heart or whatever works for you.

I have learned that Spirit does not deliver Pro’s and Con’s. It just knows. It speaks through feelings or signs, followed by silence. A simple knowing feeling. Not one single argument. The absence of arguments is a sure sign it’s coming from the Heart. And the direction you want to go in. 

If a decision feels complicated, my Ego’s in the way, producing this complexity and working from a place of fear.

If I drop all the arguments and what’s left feels clear and still, like I can’t explain it, it’s from my heart.

The next time you find yourself over-thinking, I hope you this mantra serves you to recognize Ego. Move past complexity to the simple feeling or desire that is underneath it. And know: that’s it. That’s all you need.

I am switching to English and will tell you more about this in my next article. For now, how am I doing?

With Love, Paula